Sound Nins and Fanfiction
by unwrittennovel
Summary: They broke the fourth wall by browsing the internet. What happens when Sound ninjas discover Fanfiction? Warnings: OOC, crack, and overall idiocy. Pairings: ZakuKin, SakTayu, OroKabu. Rated for language from everyone, especially Tayuya.
1. Sound Genin Break The Fourth Wall

**A/N: I know there are a lot of these, but I couldn't resist. By the way, if any of these stories sound similar to yours, it's merely a coincidence. I am not using any specific fanfictions in this story. I'm just going to use general ideas and plots. Anyways, in this story, everyone is alive. As always, enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.**

Sound Nins and Fanfiction

Chapter 1: The Sound Genin Break The Fourth Wall

Zaku Abumi was on his team's training grounds in Otogakure, waiting for the rest of his team to show up. Zaku was bored. No, bored couldn't even cut it. He was bored as hell! Slightly better...

Though what people do no know is that when Zaku Abumi becomes bored, bad things will happen. When he gets bored as hell, some poor, unsuspecting people will be scarred for life. His teammates, Dosu Kinuta and Kin Tsuchi should have known better than to show up late.

To ease his boredom (and probably mentally scar some innocent people), a black machine shaped like a rectangle fell beside him. (It was strapped to a mini parachute so it won't break.)

"Huh? What's this?" the bored boy said, picking up said machine. It had some sort of hinge. He opened the hinge. There were two sections. On one section there were buttons with letters on it. There was a black screen on the other.

"Oh I know! Kabuto has one of these!" Zaku said, remembering what happened the day before. He shuddered inwardly.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Okay, fine! I'll go ask him for some more bandages!" Zaku said, wanting to avoid the wrath of Dosu. Seriously, the guy ran out of bandages for his face, and he refuses to come out of the room without them. Zaku now wondered more than ever what Dosu's face looks like._

_Zaku reached Kabuto's room and barged in. He was met with a horrifying sight._

_The gray-haired medic was looking at pictures of him and Orochimaru on a screen. Kabuto and the snake man were doing inappropriate things in the pictures. What creeped Zaku out the most was that Kabuto was giggling, so distracted by the pictures he didn't even notice Zaku come in._

_Zaku saw the bandages by the door, grabbed them, and ran away from the room as fast as he could._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Just then, he saw two familiar figures walking towards the training grounds. He can figure out this machine with them!

"Hey! You guys are thirty minutes late!" Zaku said, glaring at his teammates.

"Sorry, my bandages got tangled," Dosu said.

"I couldn't find my ribbon for fifteen minutes," Kin said.

Not wanting to face their wrath (He knew those objects are important to them.), he decided to drop the subject and show them the object.

"This thing fell from the sky!" he said. "I think it's a weapon!"

Well, he was half right.

"Zaku, that's a laptop. It is a machine for the internet. The internet is a 'magical place'," Kin said, shuddering. That's what Kabuto called it. She also has walked in on one of Kabuto's "Sexy Moods". She actually was noticed. Said man explained to her what the object was, and threatened to tell everyone she likes Zaku if she told everyone his secret.

"How do we turn it on?" Zaku asked, looking for the right button.

Kin grabbed the laptop and pressed a button. After a few minutes, the computer was on. There were icons. Kin clicked on one of the icons. Something called "Google" popped up.

"Hey, we can probably type in phrases and get a web page!" said Zaku.

"Wow, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard out of you," Dosu said.

"Exactly," said Kin. "What should we type?"

"Ooooh! I know! Zaku Abumi!" I think you can all guess who that came from.

Kin typed in his name and pressed enter. Some sites popped up. One of them was called Fanfiction. She clicked on it. There was a story. More specifically, a ZakuDosu story. The three genins read the story.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK? WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I AM **NOT **GAY! ESPECIALLY FOR DOSU!" Zaku yelled, horrified by what he read.

"I'm not gay either," said Dosu. On the outside, he looked calm and collected. In the inside, Dosu was fuming. When he finds the author, he will make him/her deaf.

Kin just stared at the screen. She really hoped that her teammates don't do that.

Zaku took the laptop and searched for stories about his teammates. They should also suffer.

They found a KinTayuya story.

"WHY AM I PAIRED WITH MY BEST FRIEND?"

They found more yuri stories about Kin and some random girl she barely knows/hates.

"I'm straight," said Kin. Why the hell would people write that about her?

They found a story where Naruto has a harem consisting of Sakura, Tayuya, Kin, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten.

"WHAT THE FUCK? A HAREM STORY! I would never love him, yet alone love him so much that I'm willing to share him with five or so other girls. I have too much self-respect for that. So does Tayuya. Though I don't know about those Konoha sluts," said Kin. She was disgusted that anyone would even think that any girl would be willing to share a guy with other girls. Even if they think he is really amazing.

They found a ZakuKin story. Said teens blushed at the lovey-dovey words and actions. Kin almost cried when she read a tragic story.

They even found a DosuKin story. I don't even have to explain that.

They found more yaoi stories about Zaku and some random guy.

"What the hell! That guy beat me up! Why would I love him? Why would I love any man for that matter?" exclaimed Zaku.

The same thing happened with yaoi Dosu and some random guy stories.

Said teenager twitched violently at each one. Especially when they read a very detailed one-shot.

When they found a threesome of them, they finally decided to stop searching each other's names. They're already scarred.

"How do these people know anything about us?" asked Dosu. It was kind of creepy.

"I don't know. They most likely stalk us through this anime and manga series by a man named Masashi Kishimoto. Said man probably manages to piss a lot of his readers off most of the time because of who died that episode/chapter," said Kin. She knows about the Naruto series. And quite frankly, she does not like how the three of them ended up in the series.

"Hey. If this site has stories about us, maybe it has stories about the Sound Five," said Zaku. Based on what he read about him and his teammates, there must also be some blackmail material on the Sound Five.

"Let's go search it with them." With that, Zaku raced back to the base. Kin and Dosu reluctantly followed. The Sound Five are feared and admired throughout Otogakure. Zaku will try to find dirt on them, probably managing to piss off everyone (especially the violent and foul-mouthed Tayuya). This will not end well.


	2. Sakon and Ukon are Disturbed

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto. If I did, a lot of things would be different.**

Chapter 2: Sakon and Ukon Are Disturbed

"Hey! You guys have to check this out!" Zaku yelled, holding the laptop open to the site. Dosu and Kin soon appeared behind him. They were huffing and puffing. They had no idea Zaku could run this fast if he wanted to.

Today was one of those rare days where the Sound Five actually had a day off. Tayuya was practicing her flute skills on Jirobo. Said man was asleep from a lullaby. Sakon and Ukon were having a stupid fight about who gets to kill a fly on the other side of the room. (They both are bored and like killing flies.) Kidomaru was juggling with all six of his hands. Kimimaro was drinking a glass of milk and talking about how amazing Orochimaru is.

"Goddammit! Zaku! Do you have to be so fucking loud? I was practicing my flute!" Tayuya yelled, annoyed that her precious music was stopped by a loud boy. Jirobo instantly woke up due to the halted flute playing and yells coming from the foul-mouthed girl.

"Sorry, Tay. Please don't kill Zaku! He promises not to be so loud." said Kin, first apologizing to Tayuya, hoping to save her crush from an early death at the hands of her friend. "Right, Zaku?"

"Yeah. I promise not to be so loud," the loud boy said, noticing the death glares from Tayuya and the do-it-or-die look from Kin. "I just wanted to show you guys something."

"Is that one of those laptop thingies that Kabuto uses to look at those pictures of him and Orochimaru-sama?" asked Sakon. Everyone shuddered (even Kimimaro). They had all walked in on a Sexy Mood. They did _not_ need or want to know how much Kabuto likes Orochimaru.

"Yeah. But we found this site. It's called Fanfiction. It was weird. Apparently we're all in a anime/manga called Naruto. Fans write stories about everyone in this world we live in. We found stories about us," said Zaku. "We figured we would find some stories about you guys."

"That's kind of creepy. Thousands of people we don't know practically know almost everything about us," said Kidomaru.

"Why should we care?" said Tayuya.

"Because there are pairings on here. I'm pretty sure you and Sakon would love to read stories about each other." Said teens blushed in an out of character way.

"Fine."

"Okay, whose name should we type in first?" said Kin, taking the laptop from Zaku.

Nobody volunteered.

"Sakon's it is!" said Zaku.

"What?"

Kin typed in 'Sakon' in the search engine. Some stories popped up. She clicked on one of the stories.

After five minutes this was heard:

"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Sakon and Ukon at the same time. It was an incest story.

"Holy shit! Is there something I need to know?" asked Tayuya, obviously disturbed at the words and actions of her boyfriend and his brother.

"No! I swear, these are all LIES!" said Sakon. Ukon just nodded his head in agreement and separated from his brother.

"I'm too scarred right now. I'm sorry, Sakon, but I think we should be separated for a few weeks," said Ukon.

"I agree," said Sakon.

Kin clicked on another story. This time it was a TayuyaSakon story. Both teens blushed, secretly enjoying it.

They were actually having fun until they came across a certain story. More specifically, a SakonTayuyaUkon story.

"WHAT THE FUCK! BOTH OF YOUR FUCKING DICKS CANNOT FIT IN THERE!" Tayuya bellowed.

"Mine," Sakon said, grabbing Tayuya by the waist.

"Don't worry," Ukon said, grimacing at the thought of having a threesome with his brother and Tayuya. The very thought of himself having anything to do with Tayuya freaked him out. Besides, his little brother was all he had.

More stories were read. For twenty minutes all you could hear from Sakon was:

"Who the hell is this Naruto kid I'm paired up with here?"

"Who is this OC person this author paired me up with?"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"There is no way I'm _ever_ going to love that revenge-obsessed emo bastard."

Finally, having enough of these stories and Ukon's laughter, Sakon took the computer and typed in 'Ukon' on the search engine.

"Oh my God! Why am I paired up with Kimimaro?" yelled Ukon, disgusted by the story he read.

"Hey, it's not like I'm happy with it either," said Kimimaro, who though usually calm and collected, twitched a little. Honestly, where do these people get these ideas from?

There were more stories. Most of them were about Ukon and Sakon being brothers/lovers. Though some were about Ukon being with some other random person.

"Seriously, the Uchiha that Orochimaru-sama wants?" said Ukon, his eye twitching. (Everyone's eye seems to be twitching today.)

"Yeah. Kin found out the hard way that most of the fans like strange pairings," said Dosu. Funny thing is, his visible eye was _still_ twitching like there's no tomorrow.

"I don't even want to think about thinking about what I read about me and some other people," said Kin, shivering slightly from the memories. Zaku looked at her strangely. He secretly hoped she wasn't talking about when he was paired with her.

"I think that's enough stories about me and Sakon," said Ukon.

"Okay, who is next?" asked Zaku, taking the laptop.


End file.
